You Refuse to Believe that You Ever Liked Pink


Investigating non-binary identity and how a mother transitions with her transgender child


ISBN: 9789053309582 Category:

Dena Elisabeth Eber


Dena’s daughter Margaret recently announced the new name and non-binary identity as Alex, and while she fully supports this, she’s learning who the new person is, learning to love who Alex is becoming, and considering her own evolution as a mother. The project You Refuse to Believe that You Ever Liked Pink unfolded over a year during which Alex and Dena came to understand what their transitions looked like and meant. As a young adult with autism spectrum disorder and countless physical ailments, Alex struggles to exist in a world that seems to run counter to how Dena’s child understands it. Along with the gender transition, Alex came into an awareness as an asexual (ace) adult, and this book reflects the search for all these identities. Even after a year of growth, Alex and Dena are still learning to navigate their relationship, define their roles, and how to claim their place in contemporary society.

Unlike other work about this subject, this book not only investigates Alex’s identity, but also how a mother transitions with her transgender child. Dena Eber mentored and supported similar young adults, but this time, she’s the mother. This work is her experience, and at the request of Alex, it reveals her child’s experience as well. Dena created this book for herself, for Alex, and for all those who love and care about someone who is transforming away from their birth gender.

You Refuse to Believe that You Ever Liked Pink examines the relationship between Dena and Alex through changing circumstances, supported by the unconditional love that they hold for one another. As for Dena’s voice, both pain and joy come through as she mourns the loss of who she thought Alex would be and falls in love with the person that Alex is becoming.

Additional information

Weight 498 g
Dimensions 17.6 x 23 cm
Publisher name Schilt Publishing
Publication date 20 July 2023
Number of pages 128
Format Hardback
Contributors Text by Alexa Dilworth
Dimensions 17.6 x 23 cm
Weight 498 g


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Dena Elisabeth Eber is an artist based in Northwest Ohio whose artistic endeavors include VR art works, photography, and interactive installations. Her current work is intimate and personal, addressing deep loss and change. Dr. Eber has shown her work at numerous international and national exhibition venues including Gallery D-ART for the International Symposium on Digital Art, SIGGRAPH, SPE, the Griffin Museum of Photography, Photoplace gallery, Manifest Gallery, The LACP, and IDMAA. Her curatorial work includes exhibitions with SIGGRAPH and IDMAA. She was recently named on the PhotoLucida's Critical Mass Finalist list, won a purchase award from TFAS, and earned an honorable mention from the British Journal of Society. Dr. Eber is a Professor of Photography and Digital Arts at Bowling Green State University where she has taught since 1997. She earned her Ph.D. and her MFA in Art from the University of Georgia, and her MS in Computer Science and her BS in Mathematics from Colorado State University.

The book contains an essay by Alexa Dilworth, publishing director and senior editor at the Center for Documentary Studies (CDS) at Duke University (Durham, NC). She also directs the awards program, which includes the Dorothea Lange-Paul Taylor Prize.

Design: Caleb Cain Marcus, Luminosity Lab (Brooklyn, NY)